Email Funny

It’s emails like this one that leave me sitting here thinking of all manners of smart-ass responses:”I would love to slap your Ass and cunt hole !! “This email was courtesy of a 41 year-old-man. Happ_ Dominque:We both fully understand the consequence and know that we are very young but we feel like we are ready.(11 [...]
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Patria:
He is mature, hot, popular and nice and we have a lot of opportunities to hang out.
(13 June 2017)

Patria:
The first one boy X and I have a lot of history and our younger sisters are best friends, but he just moved back from Cali and told me that he might be interested in dating.
(13 June 2017)

Patria:
There are two boys that I really really like.
(13 June 2017)

Berta:
As our junior year comes to an end my sister found a better place for us to live which requires us to move to a new city , it's 30 minutes away from where i am currently living.
(13 June 2017)

Berta:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months , we see each other everyday.
(13 June 2017)

Dulcie:
Can I be pregnant? Or what's going on?
(13 June 2017)

Dulcie:
Can someone please give me answers?
(13 June 2017)

Dulcie:
I should be starting my period next week.
(13 June 2017)

Dulcie:
There was no semen, his hands were dry.
(13 June 2017)

Dulcie:
I started bleeding from it and am still spotting up to today.
(13 June 2017)